Facebook lets us stay connected with our customers, fans and friends—and now lets you review businesses. If we fell short, please tell us more so we can address your concerns. Most people in the U. Indeed, divorces are more common than ever before and, at this point, it seems hardly newsworthy that a couple has chosen to end their marriage. The reality is, of course, that all couples face issues and certain stresses can cause even older couples to divorce.
First, one issue that older couples commonly face is a possible loss of spark in their relationships. With retirement on the horizon and children out of the house, older couples sometimes lose the bond that kept them together for decades. In some situations, a spouse may decide that the time is right to begin a new chapter in their lives. Studies and research indicate that no matter the reason, it is rarely made impulsively. Many times, it has taken years to reach a decision that is well reasoned and well thought out.
Think of a late-in-life divorce like a balloon that slowly keeps seeping out air for a long period of time. After a while, the balloon, like a marriage simply ends up totally deflated.
One of the most commonly cited reasons is that one spouse wants freedom. It could be to pursue their own interest or to finally enjoy their own independence in the remaining years of their lives. Often times, relationships fall into certain patterns of control and while people change, the amount of control exerted on them does not.
This produces a chafe that eventually leads to a desire for more of a personal choice. Another reason cited is that women who are homemakers grow tired of taking care of the house, children and the bulk of familial duties.
Men, on the other hand, grow tired of working to support wives they feel do not appreciate them and children who do not respect them. That lack of emotional support and acknowledgment can create a void that must be filled for a relationship to continue to be healthy.
When children leave home, it can also create the void of an empty nest. Without the ongoing day-to-day activities associated with caring for a growing family, the buffer between parents can be removed. Common interests have been buried in favor of raising a family and instead of rekindling those common interests, they simply fade away. Another obvious reason for gray divorces is that one spouse can meet someone else, fall out of love with their partner and in love with someone new.
Adultery borne of a dying lack of intimacy in a marriage is viewed as a chance to rediscover something that was once central to a marriage and a biological drive that may diminish over time but is still central to the human psyche. In broad terms, divorce is more acceptable than ever before. Because it is easier to get, divorce is more socially acceptable than it was in years past.
Almost half of all marriages end in divorce, and while it may come to a shock about certain couples in social circles, the fact is that the stigma of a divorce carries little of the weight it did just a generation or two ago. Another complicating factor that won't surprise you is that couples often disagree about what caused their breakup.
Still, it can be helpful to learn what other people say about why their marriages ended, with the benefit of hindsight. And if you're hoping to avoid the same outcome, it can help to recognize when signs of these problems show up in your own marriage.
In several studies that asked people to choose from a list of important reasons for their divorce, lack of commitment came out at the top of the list. Interestingly enough, another study showed lack of commitment was also the reason couples were most likely to agree on—although one spouse usually blamed the other for not working harder to save the marriage.
Lack of commitment can seem vague and hard to prove or disprove , especially to the person who's being blamed for the problem. The outward signs are often related to other reasons for divorce, like extramarital affairs, not being willing to talk about the relationship, and not working toward shared financial goals.
That's probably why so many people point to a lack of commitment as a significant cause of divorce—because they see it as the issue underlying a range of more obvious problems. All those lawmakers who settled on "irreconcilable differences" as the basic ground for no-fault divorce were on to something.
This concept of incompatibility could include other divorce reasons that came up in various studies, such as:. Of course, many couples live with and even relish their differences.
But most successful marriages are based on a core of shared or at least overlapping interests, priorities, and values. Outward signs of incompatibility often go hand in hand with other common reasons for divorce—especially poor communication, which is next on the list.
Here again, communication problems can be the cause of other reasons people give for divorce, such as conflict over money and family responsibilities. It's not hard to recognize when you're arguing all the time with your spouse.
But even if the fights aren't that frequent or nasty, keep an eye out for repeated arguments about the same thing or disagreements that never really get resolved. Raising kids, excelling at profession, and handling all big and small problems of life is taxing. Raising kids is said to be the most satisfying yet the most draining part of life for an average couple.
Giving birth to children, nurturing them, providing education, and striving to give them a better life take priority over the bonding with the spouse. Couples may not find enough space or time for romance and might end up losing connection with each other. A house once lively with children, their laughs and fights, suddenly becomes empty and dull when they grow up and leave home.
It is a difficult transition for parents from a lively home to an empty nest. They are left with only each other, and the entire family arrangement needs to be redone. This procedure might make one realize their incompatibility with each other.
Moreover, children are the glue that holds the parents together. Once they move out, the couple might get drifted apart. This is a huge factor that contributes to mid or old age divorces. Some couples have lived their lives together but might have never actually been in love with one another. They might portray to be a happy couple for the sake of social image or their children for years together.
It is also possible that they got married under family pressure and never had the necessary compatibility. Love is the fuel that keeps the ship sailing, but in the absence of love, it gets difficult to live together after a certain point. In such situations, divorce risks are high.
Personality disorders like the inability to perceive the truth, impulsive behavior, obsessive behavior , severe mood swings, etc. Despite seeking professional help, such problems might persist.
If a person has severe physical health issues and is too dependent on the spouse for a long time, then it might exhaust the spouse, who may consider separation. It becomes impossible to live with a compulsively lying partner, whom you cannot trust. Lack of trust over the years might force the other partner to put their foot down and call it quits, having realized that the spouse is incorrigible.
The stress to succeed professionally can sap the love out of your marriage in the prime years of the married life. However, professional failure or financial crisis, despite all the efforts, can bring a real change to marriage. Stress from such failures may lead to divorce. Abuse can be physical, mental, financial, sexual, or emotional. In many cases, such abuse is usually not tolerated for 20 years. But some people might tolerate it due to fear, financial dependency, social obligations, lack of support, or lack of courage to walk away.
When the abused person reaches that stage of life where they can no longer take it, then it leads to divorce. Hidden or open addictions of gambling, sex, smoking, drugs, alcohol, shopping, stealing, hoarding, etc.
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